Lonely and Disconnected? Students’ Views

We all feel deeply concerned about the lonely disconnected kids who wander our school yards. We all think we know what causes them to be in this situation and we try to find the solutions to this almost impossible situation.

We have, in the past, asked teachers to gather responses from students in order to gain some insights about the problem from young people.

The following selections give a good indication of students’ views and ideas.

How do you think it feels when someone doesn’t have a friend at school?

“It would make them feel vulnerable and alone. They wouldn’t perform to their greatest ability because they wouldn't be rated. You would feel let down by people.”

“I think it would be pretty awful because you wouldn’t be able to talk to someone if you had a problem. You might even feel like moving school to try and start fresh.”

Where do kids go, or what do they do, at your school when there’s no-one to hand around with?

“Some kids might try to melt in with the crowd at busy places such as near the canteen. I think most people would go to the library or just sit alone in the laneways between the buildings.”

Why do you think some kids have no friends?

“Some people have no friends because they are new at the school and they are shy. Maybe because they are different to other people and others don’t think it is cool to hang around with them.”

“Because they might not be able to socialise as well as others.”

“They may not have friends because they don’t have social skills or they are just shy or even because of their looks.”  

What could our school do to help kids without a best friend, find something to do when they are alone?

“I think they could have a program where lonely kids could go like the library, and play games and meet other kids.”

“There should be more activities during recess and lunchtimes. Things to do inside in the library and sports to join into.”

“The school could work out some more lunchtime activities or maybe bring in people from outside the school to speak or run competitions or things like that.”

What Kids believe

Young people understand that loneliness at school is distressing.

They believe that “being different” in some way is the main reason for students not having friends.

Friendless kids go to the library or ‘hang around’ near other kids who are in large groups.

They overwhelmingly believe that the main way of helping lonely, disconnected kids is to provide activities for them at lunchtime – in the library or by way of clubs to join.